Do you "put on a happy face" to hide feelings of sadness? YESSSS!!!!

saw this question in a quiz from jialing's blog
totally describes what i always do...
anyways the quiz was about whether a person has depression
and i think i have the bipolar disorder
hahas totally sounds like ME
can be totally energetic and need very little slp
then suddenly feel really down and emo
LOL

anyways i think im in the down period nowadays
totally shacked ouT
suicide tendency?
hahas i did think of dying when i was in sec 3
tried to cut my wrists
but didnt dare to
hahas...
nowadays i onli think of how it would be if im gonE
would anyone carE?
would it hurt?
would i be forgotten?
then i would start thinking of my old sch-mate
the one who jumped
bout how sad her life just ended like tat
and everyone just moves on with their life
and forgets bout her
how even her then bf now has a new gf
and is like he totally forgot bout her alrdy

so i decided that i either have to become famous first then die
or die in a really weird way
so that i would be remembered FOREVER
hahas....

i think im a sadist =X